Who really died?

 

Who really died?
I never saw
The light of day.
Black descended,
Of a kind
I knew not,
And then no more….

How did I know you?
All I knew was you.
You flavored my becoming,
Your genes, my genes,
Your feelings,
Emotional rhythms,
Touching me
By blood connection.
All this,
And then no more…..

How did I feel you?
Warmth, gentle rocking
To and fro.
I felt you,
Heart-sounds
Surrounding me,
Pressing me,
Impressing me.
You whooshed at times
And hummed.
And then no more…..

How did I leave you?
I knew anguish
As once I knew you,
Your blood feeding mine,
I knew as parting,
Leaving behind mother
As gift withdrawn,
And bid goodbye.
Too young for endings,
Too soon to die,
And then no more…..

How now and by and by?
Sorrow and black
And then the Light.
New Day, as womb,
Enfolding me.
Life ending
Beginning yet again.
And I behold
The Face of God.
I live,
Knowing Love,
Yet still,
I wait for you.

Eternity has a door,
God knocks from His side,
I listen for you.
Pray but open the latch.
That you might die no more,
And free from sin,
Enter in.

There is yet more.
Who really died that day?

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Readings from "Into the Stillness" – Audio Post

 

<blockquote><strong>Advent – Prayer in Waiting</strong>

Advent is upon my soul.
Divine gift of season,
I listen for the cry of a First Born Son,
Begotten before Time begun,
And enfleshed in the Virgin’s womb.

I come to her,
Who is the Ark,
Your Mercy Seat.
Kneeling beside her
In these pregnant moments,
I lay my head upon her lap.

Her wonderment and awe
In steadfast contemplation,
Inspire angels’ songs.

I hear their reverent voices
In my night.
Their chorus bids me come.
Come to the stable of simplicity.

Leave the noisy city for a deserted place,
The Wilderness whose hidden way
Leads to the waiting manger,
Now, in expectant readiness,
For the Food that will feed
The hungry world.

My Advent prayer,
Come, O Holy Infant!
Come to my straw!
By Joann Nelander

<strong>All You Have Given Me</strong>

I love You, Lord.
You embrace me
In our communion of Eucharist.
I believe in Your love for the sinner.
I am that sinner.

You come to me.
I am empty and poor,
Yet, You make my poverty Your paradise.
Here I bring to You
All You have given me.

Behold Your streaming waters
Tumbling over my rocky ground.
Your light penetrates my depths,
The caverns of my heart

Yield their darkness
To You, O Holy Sun!

Sit here beside me in the silence,
As praise becomes
An un-containable river within me.
Flow from my humble abode
To water Your thirsting world without.

Delight, O Lord,
As the crashing thunder
Of majestic waves
Rise before You
In a crescendo of thanksgiving,
Finally pounding down
Upon the shore of my unworthiness.

They ebb and flow
And gather strength
As I remember Your Mercies.
All You have given me,
I receive now in humble gratitude.

Eagles dance in the air
Above our heads,
Clasping claws holding fast,
Spinning  in wedded bliss; 
Their flight a symbol
Of our holy love.

 

© 2010 Joann Nelander
<h1></h1></blockquote>

A Prayer in Adoration

A Prayer in Adoration

Here I am Lord,
Sitting, kneeling,
Prostrate in spirit
Before You, adoring.
Who You are in Your glory
Lies hidden under the appearance
Of this Holy Bread before me.
You have revealed to Your Church
The wonder, and magnificence
Of Your living Presence.
With Mother Church,
I extol Your beauty.
Truths come to mind
And I give assent.
I am married to You,
O Holy Bridegroom.
In the fullness of time,
I will embrace You
With a glorified vision and body,
But, for now, I reach with heart
And mind’s eye to catch a glimpse
Of this splendid Truth
Hidden as it is
‘Neath Bread and Wine
And broken Body on a Cross.

Favor me with an increase
Of love and desire,
Until my longing tears free
From all that holds me captive still.
I know my blindness,
And have seen my foolishness.
In my poverty and need,
I seek refuge here
Before Your eyes.

Your Truth,
Your splendid Truth, be mine!
These are such glorious Truths,
I can not comprehend them
In their reality and breath.
I can only glimpse them,
And cry out in hope and faith.

My adorable Lord,
Looking upon me now as always,
Gather to Yourself,
The groans and sighs of Spirit born,
Unto Your memories,
As so many Communions
And resurrections of spirit,
As chains of Love in Time,
But always,
Only One Adorable Lord.

©2010 Joann Nelander

A Thousand Little Moments

I fail and I fall.
"Yes, Father, it’s me, again."
My prayers and tears reach Your heart with plaintiff sighs.

I reach for Love, as a baby grasps the finger,
Securing You to my heart,
Binding You by trifles.
A thousand little moments, like a knitter’s weave,
Trivial triumphs conquering like souls,
For made in Your image, I desire only You.

Of wooing, my begging be a part.
I turn, my God, to You, as a prayer with every care.
Prayer and tears, now, all one,
I nestle to Your breast and am all ear.
I listen as beat upon beat,
Love’s rhythm reassures me of the next ,
And, of Your eternal constancy.
I listen, as for a whisper, and fear not
Whisper every care, and fretful prayer.

I reach for You with every breath,
And sigh when You draw nigh.
You answer with a mother’s warmth,
Bending low, picking me up, and pressing me
To Your consoling bosom.

"What is it my child. Am I not here? Haven’t I given you all?"
You kiss away my tears
And delight in the exchange.
I have given nothing but complaint,
Yet, You are full of smiles.

A thousand little moments knit our day.
I cry and You comfort.
I beckon and You bend in kind regard.
You draw me into that chamber,
In which I was formed,
That hallowed space,
In which my time began.

Heaven and rest contained
In one all holy Name.
Name me, my God,
And I will come into being,
Called forth from my darkness
Into Your marvelous Day.

All our moments measured by Your mercy,
I cry out for a heart made unto Your own,
That I may grow to give Your Love.
Love begetting love, for love alone.

©2010 Joann Nelander

New – Prayers of My Heart – Now Available on Amazon

Listening with the heart in quiet prayer inspired  me to writePrayers of My Heart.- conversations with God in poetry. My poetry is prayer.  It’s me, talking with God. It is often psalm-like in its rhythms. It flows from a grounded Catholic desire for holiness of life and spiritual growth.  I am always the sinner striving to be saintly to please God, Who would have me “be perfect.” These poetic conversations speak to the human condition, and of the love of Father, Son and Holy Spirit for the beloved creation He made in His image.

Mary, Undoer of Knots

O loving Mother Mary,
Undoer of Knots,
Look upon the jumble of my life,
And work the wonder
Graced by God to thee

It is said that He Who Is
Writes straight
With crooked lines.
May He Who is the Author of Life,
And Creator
Of my all too brief story,
Allow you to edit these pages.
Untangle the chaos
With your sweet simplicity.

Place Your Child upon my breast;
So may the beating of His heart
Set the rhythm of mine,
That it be in tune
With the eternal chorus,
Singing My God’s praises,
All for the glory
Of He of Whom the angels
Serenade in a perpetual,
"Holy, Holy, Holy! "

Copyright 2013 Joann Nelander
All rights reserved

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